A sanctuary that no one knows

I just got my biochem term test result, and honestly, its not that good. Well, I managed to pass with a little above the passing mark. Well, lesson no 1 – get enough sleep before the test. Because I felt dizzy and sleepy during the test, so macam mind ku inda brapa working. Lesson no 2 – never panic. I just had this habit of being panic during the exam, hence kinda leading to a bit of mind block. I am not that down now, well.. considering that I have my finals to get the marks up. Insya Allah dapat tu. I am worried banarnya. I think its ‘rindu kan balik rumah’ punya syndrome yang membuatkan ku cemani.

I am trying to catch up with all my works, hence explains why I jarang blogging now. Plus I do not have anything that interesting to share, since my life now revolves around my notes and books especially during the night. Hahaha kalau ku cakap pasal Enteric Nervous System or Motor Migrating complex, inda some of kamu paham. Hahaha..

Anyway, 3 weeks plus to exams……. and 2 weeks to Raya. Hahaha, my mom’s sending me some cakes and probably biscuits. At least raya dis year makan kek raya. Ada jua baiknya, karang mun craving sudah ku balik, sapakan buatkan ku kek raya. Probably I should learn how to make kek raya sudah ku balik nanti.

There’s a lot of things in my mind now, and probably some of them are not my business, but I just can’t get that thinking out of my head. I never thought that this world has a positive and pure cover on the outside but when you look to the inside, its nothing like the outside. You get what I mean? Its just… I don’t know lah.

I need to breathe..

I need to stay live..

I never felt so much pressure like this. Kalau kan dipikirkan, effort that I put in is just probably more than what I have put before. Is it because there’s no one that is really there to guide me in my studies, i mean like not like before, i have my teachers to refer to. Here is just about self directed learning. Kadangnya I felt stupid, like I just can’t study bah. I am just wondering what happened to the ‘me’ before. I feel like I am losing my passion in studying things. I just need to find that back soon.

Bah… hahaha baru tah datang rasa downku nah pasal marks ku. Bah jangan tah di cakap lagi tu eh.

It will be fine.

Anyway…

Bah.. I need to continue my study.

I feel my soul is lost, somewhere, I tried searching but I just could not get it back yet. That’s how down I felt at the moment. I feel like searching everyone’s mistake when there is none.

Maybe it is just tired-ness. Maybe I need to be alone, somewhere. I just feel I do not need anyone to crowd on me saying things that made me happy or emo. I just really need to be alone.

Enough of me saying.

I just need a clear mind.

That’s it.

Probably I watch something that can make me feel happy.

You get it.

I am having a LATE PMS. Maybe?

Looking at the statement above. Yeap.. I ditched the cumberland ball. No, I dont feel any sense of regret. Hehehehe… On the bright side, the computer room is nearly empty and I think I will have a good time doing my laundry. And Im planning to study hubs tonight..

Anyway, tadi BSA masak for Iftar di masjid. I only tolong potong2 barang, but it was really fun lah. Though badan ngalih, ngalihnya atu worth it. Hehehe the menus was really nice, courtesy of the chief cooks and assistant cooks AND jangan jua di lupakan orang yang memotong2 tadi.. hahaha tanpa ada yang memotong, inda masak tu makanan ah.. apakan? Basically, siuk lah tadi atu

Anyway, inda ku terpikir lagi apakan ku type sini. Ngalih ku brabis kan bepikir apakan ku tulis. Kalat mata I tapi kan blajar ku :-p hahaha

Bah alright people,

thats all for today.

Salam .

Apparently, I tried to change my RBA flight date, but it was unsuccessful because I signed up for A FRIGGING 90 DAYS MAX TICKET. Shoot.. probably its my fault, I should not have booked this ticket. Arghhh mental ku brabis pasal tiket ani eh.. MENTAL KU MENTAL.. How am I supposed to know that my course starts late next year, HOW? Inda ku expect maaaaaa………….

‘Maybe’ on the bright side, I think I can change it when I go back to Brunei. MAYBE? Tapi high chance inda ku menukar kali, sebab flight domestic ku atu kan ku apa. So ertinya, beparam tah ku ni di flat slama 3 minggu. Antah kan ku buat apa, ke gym kali .. exercise… swimming.. retailing? Kepisan, kan save duit lagi ni incase next year travelling. Cubatah ku ada credit card, dapat jua membook sendiri online and menukar pun sanang kali… arghhh…

Epi results came out, and its not encouraging at all. I managed to pass but I’m definitely worried about this final exam. So need to work hard on this. The bad thing about it is that you don’t know where do you make the mistakes as they do not hand back the paper script to you. Shoot… sanak ku eh.. sanak….

Dalam kementalan ku ani, ada jua baiknya kali. Its like a wake up call to me, TO STUDY. Hahaha I do have the mood to study now , after sudah abis labs this week (ngalih bah lab ani..sipun interesting.. ). Oh.. talking about labs, last night, I was having my Human Body System Lab, and kami kana brief pasal the gastrointestinal system, and we were shown this cadaver (that’s a real human specimen – and ada this ethics code that we have to respect this specimen since ia kana donate oleh orang), and yeah. Its interesting though I do not yet dare to touch it. Hehehe… and yeah, I survived my puasa though makan akhir, (my lab is from 6-9, so I miss the sungkai time)

Home is 9 weeks away. I just can’t wait. Though the finals are 2 weeks before then, its right to enjoy counting down the weeks.. right?

I miss kek mata kucing, kek tapak kuda, kek kukus lapis kopi that my mom makes, i miss….. biskut sikoi… i miss coklat patchi (get it people?? Save me some…. ), and I miss my mom’s daging rendang and nasi kuning, and I will miss the green packet (So my dear sisters, ingati bapa mama supaya ingati kediaku – I will definitely claim after ku balik ;-p) hahahahahahahhahaha and I will definitely miss suasana hari raya di Brunei this year. And I miss all my favorite restaurants and fast food outlets. and…………………. apa lagi ah, banyak makanan yang ku miss lah pokoknya, hahaha

Anyway, this last paragraph is dedicated to all my friends who are leaving Brunei soon, or maybe not so soon. You will experience a whole lot of new things… maybe good or bad in your eyes. Enjoy while you can because this is the only chance you have to have fun while being independant before going back home for good. However, always think about your loved ones back home or probably those who are scattered around the world.. whoever they are…….. Being homesick is good though at times because it reminds you of your family and friends back home, so don’t be afraid to confide in someone if you have mind troubles. Okay? 

Bah atu tah saja, aku ani planning kan jalan membali makanan. Oooopsss… kena tembak saya bah. Hahaha paham2 je lah…

Bi- a korean term – means rain.

I miss gerai Ramadhan.

I miss my favorite restaurants back home.

Hahaha well, I aim.. sudah ku balik nanti, I will just go straight to CA Mohammad after ku sampai, or probably if my parents busy, then I will just drive myself, mun ku brani.. hahaha kepisan, brapa lama sudah ku inda drive. Antah ingat antah inda. It scares me.. huhuh

Anyhooo~~~~~

5-6 weeks to exam. I feel… relaxed.

Antah, alum kali the ‘red alert’ feel datang kali. My revision.. not so good. I am left behind. Huhuhuh but I think Ill start soon, the question is I dont know how soon.

I know its important to get excellent results especially in the finals, since atu yang mengconfirmkan my status as a dent student next year. Insya Allah~~

I have a dilemma now.  Since my course will start late next year, i.e 26th of February, I’m planning to extend my stay in Brunei till 20th of February. 

Iatah..

My parents called me up and I told them about me starting late next year, and they encouraged me to extend my stay. Probably I should consult Dr Brunton and Donna again regarding this matter. I emailed plang sudah, tapi oleh kerana status kan masuk dent school atu alum 100 percent confirm, jadinya baik tah tanya lagi. So if all settle, and if ku jadi extend, probably by end of this week, i will change my ticket dates.

Anyway, thats all for today.

Sorry for not always online and jarang blog. Its Ramadhan…. I’ve been having trouble sleeping since I keep on changing my time to sleep. Slalunya sini kul 12 or 1 am ku tidur, and I have to wake up at 4am, then I couldnt sleep… because I just can’t. Then kurang tidur, hence tidur patang, which aku sendiri pun inda brapa suka, tapi apa buleh buat kalau ku sudah kalat mata brabis. Okay… so paham2 lah..

Anyway

3 Golden Rules:

1. State 15 wierd things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself.
   
2. The 10 people I tag are then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts.
   
3. No tag backs (:

1. I love to bake and cook

2. I’m sensitive

3. I read novels/magazines before I sleep (a routine)

4. I love to fantasize.

5. I sing. (though not as good as some other people)

6. I love reading Jap. Mangas

7. I love homeworks (yea rite) hahaha

8. I get uncomfortable easily around people, which explains why I do not talk to people that I just know sometimes. I just couldn’t get rid of those awkward feelings.  

9. I wish to watch a big live orchestra one day

10. I have plans to travel next year, tapi inda tau kemana… I have choices to make

11. I dont know what I like in a guy.

12. I watch a lot of Korean and Jap drama.

13. I buy a lot of DVDs from chonghock.

14. I’m a lazy person

15. I want to travel around the world. No, its not retail therapy. Just travel and see places. Thats it

Sorry for not blogging for quite some time.

I had a test, so yeah, I was doing a kind of last minute cramming, so it was not at all pleasant. I’m deprived of sleep. I need my sleep.. later, after i have my sahur.

So, we had our BSA iftar ‘together-gather’ thing, well.. basically I didnt help much, I just helped with cutting the pisang for cucur pisang, and thats it. Too many people were doing the job, so… instead, we watched Mr Vampire the first. Hahahaha emosi ani wah ku meliat. Kepisan…. akulah especially yang terlebih2..

Anyway, so lapas atu, our corridor at Cumby had this PJ party, watching movies and singstar ja. We watched Semi Pro which is so LAME, and I dont think its really funny except some parts and the theme song. The rest is just blegh….

I just have a bit of thinking lately..

There’s this one song… Ugly by Sugababes… which the lyrics said, ‘people are all the same, and we can be judged by what we do, and personality reflects me…’ this part lah. Therefore meaning, everything you do, people may see it differently from what you actually may want people to see from you. I am the kind of person who tend not to judge people only at the first time I met them, because I know that my first judgement is ALWAYS wrong. There are good and bad sides about each individuals. It depends on us whether we can accept the bad sides of people. For me, asalkan bad sides nya atu inda melampaui batasan…sudah.

I know some people may feel the same about me, and as a person, I am the kind who will try my best to improve, and without having me losing my own identity. I wouldn’t want to change myself according to what people want me to do. Then I will not be Amal anymore. I will not be me..

Anyway, enough

So, I was just being told by one of my dent seniors that dent course for 2nd yrs will start on 2/3rd of March, imagine what I will do in Dunedin for about 3 weeks, kepisan.. menalur ku dalam rumah tu nyamu. I don’t mind staying in Brunei banarnya, lagipun, ill spend less money if I do stay in Brunei. Hahahaha, but aku masih lagi berpikir. High chance, I will extend my stay, provided my parents let me. At least, if I do extend my stay, I can spend my little brother and my mom’s birthday in Brunei.. with them.

Anyway, that’s all, malas ku kan type lebih panjang. Pening karang kamu membaca.

Assalamualaikum

So, ramadhan starts today. So, I had butter and ’something’ chicken dishes today, from Little India, courtesy of Nimra. Hahaha, the kitchenettes were supposed to prepare us food but they didnt, so Nimra had to go out and buy us the food for sahur. As she said, enjoy the food while we can because it probably will mean that the food prepared by the kitchen will not be as nice as how good it sounds. Paham2 lah saja.

So, I slept early last night. I am just so sleepy, don’t know why, and I didnt even study last night, can’t be bothered to. Is it ngalih? Inda jua…. inda ku dapat explain kekurangan stamina ku banarnya. Hahaha, kurang exercise? Barangkali.. Its just probably because of the weather, so gloomy and all. Well, enjoy the season while you can, since spring is coming soon, and it will not be as cold as now. Tapi baik pulang ku tidur awal atu banarnya. Sanang bangun awal. A bit drastic pulang tu ku tukar biological clock ku. But anyways…

Anyways, atulah sja for today. Hahaha kalau ku inda slalu online as usual, jangan heran lah ah. Sebab im trying to make myself study nowadays. Kalau ku dapan computer, memang aku inda study, so baiktah jangan ku computer room. Hahaha, okay…

Selamat berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan. Enjoy all the bingka while you can. Enjoy all the cakes and kebab and all… the things you can find arah gerai ramadhan. Because that is what I miss now. Huhuhuh

Salam

What made me listen to this song? Hm… I’ve been watching Mariah’s previous live performance and I am just in awe with how powerful her performance was before. I can’t get why people keep on bashing her nowadays, seeing the legend that she was made before. So this video ditujukan sesiapa2 yang minta kana tujukan.

Anyway, the last day of holiday. As usual, im hoping that I will have another week of holiday, but that’s not possible la. Hahaha in the bright side, the date of coming home is getting closer. So, I just can’t wait to get over this semester with, and of course with hard work lah.

I am having a test end of this coming week, and one the next two weeks. So high chance that I will be kept busy this september, and in a way bagus kali jua lah, sebab ‘lapar’ puasa atu inda terasa lah.

Talking about puasa.. my first puasa without my family, and consequently raya without my family jua. Its okay, ku sambut lapas ku balik lah. Hahahaha ertinya, I will tagih the green packet tu nanti sudah ku balik, hohohohohoho.. arasooo.. ?? Nis, jangan lupa apa yang ka mal cakap last night.

Oh yeah, I want to say congratulations to a friend of mine, Mohd Hazmi Rafie kerana berjaya mencapai impiannya selama ani terkubur dalam hati. The long waiting is over and its your time to shine now . I was really happy when I heard the news. Hahahaha Congratulations man, you totally deserve it.

Anyways, just to tell you people, aku malas kan online karang malam. Hahaha kan bekurung dalam bilikku, blajar … hahaha hopefully mau…. I feel aku punya stamina ani kurang wah, huhuh kan rasa tidur ku ganya batah2 ani..

Bah, okay people. Selamat Berpuasa. Moga segala amalan tani di bulan puasa akan diterima oleh Allah Subhanahu Wataala. Amin ya Rabbal Alamin

I am TRYING to study biochem. Ofcourse I managed to study some parts but not all.  Argghhh test next week.. kepisan niii…

Anywayyy… I just got off the phone with my youngest sister, sebab ku dangar ia menyamal…. iatahhh… seorang lagi down with a fever and the other one, ada conjunctivitis. Kan,… slalubah, time nada parents dirumah ni, ada2 ja yang melanda. Hahaha i think its just a mere coincidence, tapi yeah. Last year I was down with a fever jua time durang nada dirumah, hahaha we’ll manage.

So we had AGM this morning. It was quite… fun. I guess. I enjoyed it, hahaha teasing some people.. hahahaha and this person’s reasoning is really funny. Ia ani kana nominate jadi IT officer bah, sudah atu kan direjectnya, apa nah ia punya reason, “Budak kampung buta IT”, puiiii.. hahahaha nada ku menerima tu yo. Facebook pandai…. apa tu, buta IT? hahahahaha basically banyak lah benda2 yang melift up my mood tadi, and aku banyak ketawa jua. So yeah. And the food was really2 nice. Honto ni arigato gozaimasu. It really reminds me of my mom’s bihun. I really love it.

Sudah atu,  oleh kerana participate in BSA Badminton Tourney. Hahahaha mambang some parts of my badan yo… Dimana paling sakit, di tempat yang slalu terkana kalau duduk. Hahahahaha… memburn off lamak kali di sana. Tapi the main point is I didnt play any sports or exercise before main badminton. Oleh sebab atu tah bahangnya terasa.

Hahaha bah atu tah saja for today. Kan sambung blajar ku. Huhuhuh bah see you people. 

Anyway, got this from a friend of mine.

It may be disgusting but hellish funny to me.. hahahah

Subject: RAHSIA DI SEBALIK KANTUT
>  
> KALAU TANGAN BOLEH DIBACA, BEGITU JUGA KENTUT YANG MEMBERI
> MAKNA DISEBALIK ORANG YANBG MEMBUANG KENTUT
>  
> 1 . ORANG YANG INDA JUJUR
> Orang yang kalau bekantut, orang lain yang disalahkanya
>  
> 2 . ORANG BANGANG
> Orang yang menahan kantutnya berjam-jam
>  
> 3 . ORANG YANG BERWAWASAN JAUH
> Orang yang tahu bila ia kan bekantut
>  
> 4 . ORANG SENGSARA
> Orang yang kan bekantut tapi inda dapat lapas
>  
> 5 . ORANG YANG MISTERI
> Orang yang kalau bekantut, orang lain inda kan tau
>  
> 6 . ORANG YANG GUGUP
> Orang yang testuck kantutnya bila ia kan bekantut
>  
> 7 . ORANG YANG PERCAYA PADA DIRI SENDIRI
> Orang yang salalu nganggap kantutnya berbau wangi
>  
> 8 . ORANG YANG SADIS
> Orang yang bekantut di katil, tarus mengibaskan kantutnya
> kekatil orang lain
>  
> 9 . ORANG YANG PEMALU
> Orang yang kalau bekantut selalunya inda berbunyi tapi
> selalu merasa malu sendiri
>  
> 10. ORANG YANG STRATEGIK
> Orang yang slalu menapuk kantutnya dengan ketawa
> terbahak-bahak supaya inda kana dangar oleh orang lain
>  
> 11. ORANG YANG BODOH
> Orang yang udah bekantut, kemudian menarik nafas untuk
> menggantikan angin yang keluar
>  
> 12. ORANG YANG PELIK
> Orang yang kalau terkantut, mengeluarkannya sediki-sedikit
> sampai bunyi ‘tit – tit – tittttt’
>  
> 13. ORANG YANG SOMBONG
> Orang yang kalaunya bekantut selalu berasa bangga dengan
> kantutnya
>  
> 14. ORANG YANG PERAMAH
> Orang yang suka mencium kantut orang lain
>  
> 15. ORANG YANG TIDAK SUKA BERGAUL
> Orang yang slalu bekantut tapuk-tapuk
>  
> 16. ORANG YANG AKUATIK
> Orang yang selalu bekantut dalam air sampai berbunyi
> ‘blekutuk-blekutuk – bloop -bloop -bloopp’
>  
> 17. ORANG YANG ATHLIT
> Orang yang kalau bekantut, slalu mengeluarkan tenaga
> dalaman
>  
> 18. ORANG YANG JUJUR
> Orang yang slalu ngakun kalaunya terkantut
>  
> 19. ORANG YANG PINTAR
> Orang yang boleh menilai bau kantut orang lain
>  
> 20. ORANG YANG ROMANTIK
> Orang yang slalu memuji-muji kantut pasangannya tu merdu
> dan wangi…
>  
> 21. ORANG YANG PENGENTUT
> siapa lagi kan ?? Kitani semua lah… manithhh!!

Salam

Whenever I bloghop at my younger sister’s blogspot, I kept on hearing this song. Hahaha yang part yang attracts me was the oooo~~~ ooo~~~ part. So, after so long, I decided to search this song at youtube, with lyrics lah skali, kiranya kan memahami lagu ani lah. Hahahaha so conclusionnya I find this song SCHWEEETTTTT…. Hehehehe.. and I think its the first song that I heard from Jason Mraz. Hehehe

My parents are boarding the plane this morning, and my cousins will be in charge of my siblings(good luck Ka, hahahaha not easy nyamuuuuuu adinda2 ku ani) , but I think I will call them everyday (maybe) just to make sure everything is alright. This is not the first time though, I remember last year, I was left alone with my grandma (and ofcourse with pembantu rumah) and my girl cousin came over and danganikan di rumah at night. Hehehe, but it was okay lah. The reason why I did not go because I had exams during the holiday, but sokay..

I am being so jiwang2 these days. Tak tahu lah kenapa. I watched back this drama Cinderella with Ahmad Idham and Haliza Misbun acted in it. Hahahahaha, macam.. suka ku melihat yooo.. Romantikzssszzz.. Hahahaha… Slahau.. I kept on smiling remembering back some scenes. EMOSI ani bah meliat.. hahahaha ani kan sambung meliat tah ku ni lagi.. Arghhh.. Ahmad Idham kali ah, hahaha apakan ku ah, random… and aku was watching the drama before tidurlah, sudah atu addicted, inda dapat tidur.

I had a weird dream two days back. I do remember some parts but apparently I couldn’t remember others. Its really making me frustrated that I can’t even remember my own mimpi. Arghhh…. why can’t I remember..

And tadi, sikit lagi ku kan akhir ke badminton tourney held by BSA. I woke up at 9.33am and the event started at 10am. Hahaha alamatnya taulah sendiri. Sudah atu, ke clubs and socs. So I ikut women singles and doubles. Tapi kalahku, hahaha knockout dari awal2 sudah. Inda practice jua bah, nada stamina. Hahahaha, tapi tak apa apa, at least we had fun just now. :-p

Then, the issue of cumberland ball kana naikkan tadi. I dont know if I am going or not. I have the baju already, my mom antarkan my baju fesyen kemari the other day, but then.. the ball is during bulan puasa. Hehehe that made me think about whether I should go or not, and my seniors cakap the mat salehs will drink and get drunk that night. So liat dulu lah.. hohohoh

I really want to watch this movie. Inda plang ku tau lawa kah inda, so you people in Brunei can please find out whether lawa kah inda? Hehehe

I’m not single (Aku bukan bujang)